ParentDish

One is the happiest number?

Sandy Maple — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 19:00:00 EST

When I was growing up, just about every kid I knew had two siblings. My best friend, the kids I went to school with, and the neighbor kids were all growing up with two other kids in their house. I don't know where this three-kid quota came from, but every parent seemed to be happy to fill it, my own included.

For many families of my parent's generation, having just one kid was an idea that just never occurred to them. An only child is a lonely child, right? Maybe sometimes, but having siblings doesn't guarantee life-long friendship and happy times. In fact, for many it seems that all siblings guarantee is a life-long nemesis. Someone to argue with at holiday gatherings and avoid at all other times.

I got along well enough with my own siblings and still do. But my best childhood friend loathed her youngest sister and today, the two don't even speak. The kids that grew up across the street from me all left home and now live thousands of miles from each other with no communication. And they are the lucky ones. Several other friends live within spitting distance of their siblings and are in a constant state of distress over their rocky relationships.

Having raised an only child, I do know that loneliness can sometimes be an issue. But she's an adult now and I can see no ill effects as a result of being raised alone. On the other hand, my sister and I enjoy a close relationship and I am thankful that someone exists who knows me - and where I come from - as well as she does. What about you? If you have siblings, how's that working out for you?

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Moms bigger risk takers when birthing than their doctors

Angie Felton — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 18:00:00 EST

Filed under: Pregnancy & birth, In the news

Back in the day when the only birthing training available was Lamaze, my husband and I dutifully attended classes to prepare for our first child. It was never openly admitted in class, but I had ascertained from TV and movies that giving birth hurts very, very, very much and the silly-sounding breathing exercises (Hee! Hee! Hee! HAW!) were the best diversionary tactics available to distract one from the pain in her nether regions.

Then I had to have a C-section and all that training went to waste.

A recent study in Sydney, Australia queried mothers on their views on complications ranging as minor as prolonged birth and superficial tears to as major as anal and urinary incontinence, vaginal prolapse and severe tearing and compared these opinions with those of doctors and midwives. The results were that first time birthers were much more willing to take risks in order to have a natural birth than were the doctors or midwives.

One out of every 4 UK pregnancies results in a C-section due to potential complications like the baby lying in the wrong position for natural birth.

According to Philip Steer, editor of the journal where the study was published, the clinical responses may, "indicate that doctors are biased by their inevitable involvement in complex cases, or labors where things have gone wrong."

I think another word for that is "experience." Sure, women have given birth unassisted thousands of years on their own, but it's important to remember that many of them (and their babies) died in the process. Stuff can go wrong, doctors realize what that stuff is, and try to keep it from happening to their patients. I personally didn't have a problem with that when my birthing situation went awry, because at the end of the proceedings, I was alive and so was my baby.

In an era of malpractice lawsuits, it's understandable why a doctor may go ahead and suggest a C-section rather than take risks. As a society, we've essentially backed the medical field into this corner and the result is C-sections that may not all be necessary and even though the mom may be willing to give it the old college try.

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